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Life is tough enough. For many, talking to colleagues during a big life transition can be yet another burden to shoulder during an already stressful time.

“Major life changes are a part of our developmental and personal life’s journey,” said Nkem Okakpu, Ph.D., LPC, a therapist based out of Clifton and Scotch Plains, NJ. “Unfortunately no matter how personal some events are, those parts of yourself might also be present in the workplace.”

These run the gamut from identified gender to a leave due to medical reasons.

“These may require not validation from colleagues, but recognition. I would prompt you to ask yourself, ‘What parts of this journey are necessary for the work culture, work interactions and your work self?’” said Okakpu. “You have the autonomy to choose how much you share.”

Should you decide to speak up, it’s possible to navigate these moments with confidence. “Addressing major life changes at work can be important for maintaining a sense of authenticity and connection in the workplace,” said Lauren Borkowski, MA, LPC, a licensed professional counselor based in Longmont, Colo., noting that, “It’s essential to feel seen and heard by your team, as well as feeling safe enough to share … [but] it can be difficult to determine how your colleagues might react.”

Young Asian tomboy woman in casual attire working from home
The choice to inform colleagues of life changes is up to you, but here are some ways to do it if you choose to do so.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

For that reason, Borkowski also recommends weighing the pros and cons of sharing your news, whether it’s a pronoun change or announcing your divorce. It can be helpful to discuss this with a trusted friend or therapist first. Then, “Check in with your support system again to help process your feelings and address any other needs that come up,” she said.

Ahead, how to share such news gracefully, and perhaps even spare your co-workers any potential faux pas and discomfort along the way.

Coming out

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach for this, offers Valatie, NY-based Finn Schubert, MPH, a career coach and consultant who specializes in workforce issues for trans and nonbinary people, and who is currently creating a transgender-specific workforce development curriculum for the nonprofit TransNewYork.

“Let your choices be guided by what you know of your specific workplace, as well as your personal goals,” he said, adding that the best way to do it is the way that you are most comfortable with.

Woman's hand working in office with LGBT decor and accessories.
There are many options for how you might want to share your sexuality if you choose to do so.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

“Some people want their co-workers to know that they identify as gay, and so they find it easiest to slip it into casual conversation,” he said. “Some people who are transitioning may need to discuss specific logistical issues, for example, strategizing with their boss about how to inform clients of their name change, and so they may find it easier to schedule a meeting with their boss to ensure all the points are covered.”

Schubert emphasized that people will generally respond in kind in terms of how you approach it — if you act like it’s not a big deal, people will follow your lead, and vice versa.
And if you decide not to share, that’s A-OK. “A cisgender heterosexual person is typically not expected to make announcements about sexuality, and perhaps the same thought should be applied to all people,” said Okakpu.

Changing your pronouns

Schubert says that this announcement is also highly workplace-dependent, but there are some guiding questions that may help you hone in on how you want to handle sharing the news: Has anyone else at your workplace changed their pronouns, and if so, how was this handled? Do your co-workers have a basic understanding of trans identities, or will announcing your pronoun change mean providing “Trans 101” education? How are similar changes (such as name changes due to marriage) handled in your workplace? “It’s important to normalize pronoun changes alongside other changes, like name changes, that happen commonly in the workplace,” he said.

Young businesswoman
Announcing big life changes in the workplace can be challenging.
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While some prefer simply to update their signature line without any fanfare, many people prefer to announce their pronoun change in a brief email or announcement, offered Schubert. “Either way, in most cases, it’s a good idea to give your boss a heads-up so that it doesn’t come as a surprise, and so that the two of you can strategize, if necessary, about how to handle any issues that may arise,” he said. “You can also let a few trusted co-workers know beforehand, and let them know if there is anything that they can do that would be helpful for you,” such as correcting or educating others.

You’re going through a divorce

“Colleagues are curious about each other and their relationship statuses. It can be difficult to discuss divorces, breakups, and name changes,” said Borkowski, stressing that it can also be a helpful part of the healing process.

Try talking to your manager and your human resources department. “They may also have suggestions about possible social and emotional supports such as seeking counseling through your employee assistance program or finding a divorce recovery group,” she added.

Getting support from a trained counselor can help you further assess how to discuss your breakup or divorce with others. “It is important to honor your needs and the healing process. If you don’t feel ready to share with colleagues, it’s OK to wait,” said Borkowski.
Like all other major life changes, it’s up to you to decide what you want to share and what you want to keep private. “Consider which parts of this event show up at work. Perhaps, discussing your relationship at work may not serve you in any way within your role,” said Okakpu.


By: Ny Post

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Kourtney Kardashian uses Kopari Coconut Melt to ‘look good naked’

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Kourtney Kardashian’s no stranger to showing skin.

Whether the reality star’s modeling lingerie, baring it all in a bikini or packing on PDA with husband Travis Barker, she’s clearly confident about her body — and relies on a selection of tried-and-true products to keep her skin in tip-top shape.

In one of her first-ever Poosh stories, fittingly titled “How to Look Good Naked,” the 43-year-old outlines some of her body care essentials, including La Mer The Body Crème ($300), Dr. Barbara Sturm Anti-Aging Body Cream ($95) and Le Labo’s Pin 12 Candle ($82) — the latter because “lighting is everything.”

But not everything on Kardashian’s list will bust your budget. She also swears by Kopari Organic Coconut Melt, which will set you back just $29 for a full-sized jar or $18 for a mini version.

“In order to achieve glowy skin, it’s important to moisturize everything — everywhere — at least once a day,” the Poosh piece reads. “Don’t forget to care for your hands and feet as well; we recommend focusing on these areas at night.”

Billed as “a deep conditioner for your bod,” the product is comprised of 100% organic, unrefined coconut oil, and Kopari suggests applying it “as soon as you step out of the shower and at the end of the day.”

What’s more, the multitasking product also works well as a hair mask, dry shave oil, bath mix-in and belly balm, per the brand.

Snag a tub for yourself below — and get ready to look fabulous in your birthday suit, too.

Kopari Organic Coconut melt
Kopari


By: Ny Post

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Carlos Carrasco’s gem, three homers propel Mets past Marlins

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MIAMI — He’s one tough Cookie these days.

Carlos Carrasco isn’t going to win any contests blowing away hitters, but the right-hander’s offspeed pitches and command — and most importantly, his health — have converged this season to give the Mets an invaluable rotation piece.

On Saturday, he gave his team 7 ²/₃ shutout innings in a 4-0 victory over the Marlins at loanDepot park. Carrasco extended his scoreless streak over his past three starts to 18 ²/₃ innings.

The win was No. 100 in Carrasco’s career, making the 35-year-old the eighth Venezuelan-born pitcher to reach the milestone. Carrasco last surrendered a run on July 9 against the Marlins at Citi Field.

The Mets (63-37) won their fifth straight and reached the 100-game mark with the franchise’s most victories since 1986.

Overall, Carrasco allowed four hits and struck out seven with two walks. Seth Lugo replaced Carrasco in the eighth inning after Charles Leblanc had doubled with two outs. But Leblanc was picked off second base by Tomas Nido, ensuring Carrasco’s scoreless streak continued.

Carlos Carrasco didn't allow a run in the Mets' 4-0 win over the Marlins.
Carlos Carrasco didn’t allow a run in the Mets’ 4-0 win over the Marlins.
AP

Lugo remained in the game to pitch a scoreless ninth inning, allowing Edwin Diaz a day off following a 10-pitch outing Friday in which he struck out the side.

The Mets will try for a three-game sweep of the reeling Marlins on Sunday with Taijuan Walker on the mound.

After scuffling at the plate for seven innings, the Mets gave Carrasco breathing room in the eighth when Francisco Lindor and J.D. Davis each blasted a solo homer to give the Mets a 4-0 lead. Davis’ homer, in a pinch-hitting appearance, came as the Mets are searching on the trade market for a right-handed bat to solidify the DH spot.

The Mets have traded for two lefty bats in the last week-plus to bolster the other half of the DH equation. One of those additions, Tyler Naquin, debuted for the Mets on Saturday in left field and went 0-for-4. Daniel Vogelbach started at DH and drew a walk in four plate appearances.

Carrasco’s gem was the latest strong performance by a Mets starting pitcher. Entering play, the Mets had a 2.45 ERA from the starting rotation in July, which ranked second in the major leagues. Chris Bassitt had a rare flat start for the Mets a night earlier, when he allowed four earned runs over six innings.

Jeff McNeil hit a solo homer in the third against rookie Nick Neidert to give the Mets their first run. The homer was the first since June 14 for McNeil, who entered the day with a .162/.240/.191 slash line in July.

The Mets weren’t finished in the inning: Nido, Brandon Nimmo and Lindor all singled. Lindor’s hit extended the Mets’ lead to 2-0 and gave the shortstop 68 RBIs for the season before he reached 69 with his blast later.

Carrasco was challenged in the first inning, when he allowed a single to Miguel Rojas and walk to Jesus Aguilar before retiring JJ Bleday for the final out. In the fourth, Carrasco surrendered a leadoff single, but he escaped the inning when he got Bleday to ground into a double-play.


By: Ny Post

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Career NYC criminal tries to steal moped from NYPD station

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A brazen career criminal with more than 50 arrests on his rap sheet, including rape, was busted for trying to steal a moped from outside a lower Manhattan police station.

Jon Matos was caught red-handed approaching the $1,200 bike outside the 5th Precinct, sources said.

He was allegedly using a set of burglary tools Friday to try to bust the lock of the bike, which was vouchered property, cops and sources said.

Matos, a homeless father of three, was arraigned in Manhattan Criminal Court on charges of attempted grand larceny and possession of burglary tools.

The proceeding was delayed for hours, sources said, after Matos allegedly became angry with a cellmate who used the facilities — but didn’t courtesy flush.

“I was just f–king with it. It’s not my tools,” he allegedly told an NYPD detective, said Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Megan Mers during the court proceeding.

Judge Valentina Morales Saturday agreed to give Matos supervised release in the moped case.

“Thank you, your honor,” Matos told Morales.

But instead of hitting the streets once again, Matos was held on outstanding charges from the 23rd Precinct in an unrelated case, authorities said.

It was his second appearance before a judge in a week: Matos was in court days earlier, charged with grand larceny, petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property and was released in yet another incident.

Matos has racked up dozens of busts for burglary, robbery, fare evasion — including the 1999 rape of a 14-year-old girl.

Crime is up in six of the seven major crimes measured by the department contributed to the increase — though the seventh category, murders, dropped a noticeable 31.6% last month in comparison to numbers compiled in June 2021, according to the NYPD’s preliminary statistics.

Grand larceny spiked 41%, robbery rose 36.1% and burglary went up 33.8%.

When addressing the crime spike last month, NYPD Commissioner Keechant Sewell said the department was arresting the same people for crimes “over and over again.”

Other recent and brazen repeat offenders include veteran shoplifter Isaac “Man of Steal” Rodriguez, who was finally locked up in January after dozens of arrests for stealing to support his drug habit.

Laron Mack, whose catchphrase is “I steal for a living,” has been arrested more than 50 times. Another serial stealer, James Connelly, was busted in December for involvement in 28 separate incidents over three months.

Last month, accused serial shoplifter Lorenzo McLucas, 34, was nabbed for stealing from the cosmetics counter at a Duane Reade on Lexington Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, according to cops and court documents.

McLucas, who was released on his own recognizance, has notched 122 prior arrests.


By: Ny Post

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